It’s interesting how sometimes things just work out.
After weeks of thinking about what should I write next, and almost giving up on the idea that this month I will be able to post anything on my blog, today it came to me. Just like that, from an angle I did not see coming.
My brother in law has been talking about this great book on healthy eating called Green for Life, from the author Victoria Boutenko.
Well, today, finally, I went online and read the introduction and here is what I read:
“…when all we have is a compilation of someone else’s instructions, the best we can do is to hope and pray that the authors of such instructions were efficient in acquiring their knowledge and honest in their intentions. In other words, we hope that someone else cares for us more than we care for ourselves.
When we let others observe and reason for us, in a sense we consciously choose to stay blind and deaf. We become compelled to follow someone’s else’s instructions, one after another, and perform actions that do not make much sense to us. We submit to the authority of others. We give our power away.”
This touches me in so many ways, personally and professionally.
Personally I am a bit of a control freak and when it comes to me, my life, my body and my health I rarely (probably more like NEVER), take any advice just like that. No authority in this world will convince me that something should be good for me if I don’t feel like that is true - and here is why I say FEEL LIKE - because some times, I admit, it’s not about reason. Some times it’s about habits, perception, culture or just strong opinion. But you know what - even if that is true, it is MY truth and it works for ME.
There have been times when I decided to go against my “feelings” because reason told me I should do something - like for example - I had a surgery I was resisting for a long time, because finally I told myself I needed it in order to … When I was able to explain to myself that it is OK, and when I was able to accept that it was OK - it was OK (even though part of me did not like it).
Professionally, I have my own beliefs on how things should be done and more importantly, working with families, how THEY should do certain things. And this is the beautiful part - the self check part.
I love this profession because it keeps me in check and forces me to exercise patience and acceptance, with myself, as an instructor, and with myself as a human being.
Here is the big truth - the fact that I believe and think that the programs I teach could benefit everyone, is not necessarily true. It is MY belief and MY desire to somehow enrich everyone’s parenting path. Well, it may not be like that. I always, always need to keep reminding myself that instead of trying to persuade someone that she or he could really benefit, I can only present what I think and give a few reasons why. That’s it.
The second layer, if a parent does decide to take my class, is to then accept that they will and they should filter any information I give them through their own experience. How a person is going to accept, incorporate and implement the things I teach is really personal and that is how it is supposed to be!
Some parents will ask me - Why? or How? and rather than just giving MY answer to those questions, I will try to help them arrive at THEIR own answers. The reason I try (and sometimes fail) to do this, is because I am trying to empower the parents. I want them to have those A-HA moments which will not happen if I do it for them. Believing that they can do it and offering a direction they can choose to take, often will lead to those amazing empiric moments, that stay engraved in their psyche. That is when they learn, they grow as a parent and they deepen the connection with their child and with themselves.
So even though I do research, read and educate myself, even though I have the best of intentions and care a great deal for every one of you parents and your little ones, I always invite you to explore possibilities, give it time to sink in and really allow yourself to FEEL that it is the right thing for you and your baby. That will always make me more happy than an empty, complying nod or mechanical repetition of what is in front of you.
p.s. Last night, after writing this post, I went to bed with another book - How to Meditate, by Pema Chodron, and here is what I read:“ The Buddha said, “Don’t just take what I say as true because I say it. Really test it with you experience.”
” I’ve presented you with the basic techniques of meditation - and only you can really know how you are doing with the suggestions and instructions. You are the principle witness to you life, and you have to begin to trust your own insight into your mind in order to determine what your practice might need at any given moment. In a sense, we become our own meditation instructors.”
The Universe provides... ;)